I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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