so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
