the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
