i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
