Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
