i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize