Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
