How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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