So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the day after is always just damage control
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
