Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
