I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We named our party play list daddy issues
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize