just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize