i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
