Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize