ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
