Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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