O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
