so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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