I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
