two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
