Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Drunk is not a location!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
