marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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