There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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