69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
