Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

(239): View more from Florida

He could rock you to sleep

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.

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(602): View more from Arizona

At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"

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(972): View more from Texas

I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

Fav 6 2022 969
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(904): View more from Florida

You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.

Fav 3 77 26
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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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