Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
