Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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