Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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