How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
