ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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