O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
