if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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