you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize