3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
