Do you still have your period?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
