Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
