My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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