We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
