Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
