I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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