They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
