She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
