I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
