Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
