You just made me feel so damn special
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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