Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
