why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize