i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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