can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
