I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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