you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
