You can't motorboat a personality
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize