im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
