dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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