White coat. Heels.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
