WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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