i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
