Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
