Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
