You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
