Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
