When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
